Tribulations

I've been talking to ICAN Baton Rouge and Birth Rite Louisiana, which is a natural birthing group in the area we are moving to that I was referred to by the ICAN ladies.  I've called all references I've received and every single one has said "No" to VBAC.  There are not many birthing centers in the state and the one I was referred to said they love to do VBAC's, but there is a law in LA that a VBAC patient has to live within 50 miles of their midwife or OB in order to be accepted as a patient.  No VBAC supportive doctor in the state lives close enough and we don't know anyone we could stay with around my due date to make that work.  Then the ladies told me that they thought that law only applied to midwives, so I called a doctor I've heard good things about in Baton Rouge.  Left a message for his nurse, but haven't heard back.

I was really discouraged last night.  I think I cried from about 2pm-10pm.  I hadn't eaten, my head hurt and I was so sick of all of this.  It shouldn't be this hard!  Daddy B has been so encouraging.  He always says things like "What WE want,"  "OUR birth,"  etc.  It makes me feel so comforted to know he wants this as bad as I do and he is committed.  I prayed and prayed last night asking God to give me peace if He wants me to have another c-section.  It sure would make everything easier.  But He didn't grant me that peace and instead I feel more determined.  I tried to visualize walking in to a hospital for a c-section without having a trial of labor and the thought literally made me sick.  I just feel convicted that God wants me to TRY.

After talking to Daddy B about all of this, he recommended I call his mom.  His mom is retired and lives in Arkansas, but her husband (Daddy B's stepdad) is actually from the area in LA we are moving to.  So I called her and asked her if she would be willing to come down for longer than planned around my due date so that I could go stay close to the birth center that supports VBAC to enable me to have the baby there.  She didn't hesitate.  I've shared with her some about why this birth experience means so much to me, so it didn't come out of left field when her only daughter-in-law called her bawling her eyes out about everything.  I'm just so thankful to her and her support.  I don't know if she'll ever fully understand how much it means to me.

This afternoon I called the birth center back and they said they'd be happy to take me as a patient, as long as I can guarantee I will be in the area from 38 weeks on and that their backup OB approves my post-op report from my c-section for a VBAC.  Shouldn't be a problem, as I am almost a perfect candidate.

I still have the back up plan to come back to Texas, but there are a lot of things about that plan that scare me.  I would prefer to birth in Louisiana, but if that means I have to get cut, I'll gladly make my way back to DFW to have this baby.

One thing is for sure, after all this is over, I plan to do what I can to help educate people about a woman's rights when it comes to birth.  It is utterly ridiculous that this is so hard.