My REAL Birth Story

Originally written 9/7/2010 - Over one year later

Unfortunately, my birth story isn't unique. While I was pregnant with Baby C, I was told he was a big baby. My doctor never did an ultrasound past 20 weeks, but she said she could tell by how full my belly was. I had an easy pregnancy and was fortunate to be in great health the entire time. My mom had 4 c-sections so I talked with my doctor multiple times about how I really wanted a vaginal birth. My mom is also a nurse of 27 years so I grew up trusting our medical system. When my doctor told me at 38 weeks that she wanted to induce to increase my chances of a vaginal birth, I felt I had no reason not to trust her judgement. She went on to tell me that even with the induction, she felt I still had a 70% chance of having a c-section. So, at 38.5 weeks, I showed up at 5am and started pitocin. Around 12pm I got an epidural and at 5pm I had only dilated to 5cm, was 70% effaced and the baby was still in the -1 position. My doctor then told me that we needed to start thinking about a c-section. I told her I wanted to wait another hour and see what happened. The nurses helped me get on to my hands and knees to labor in a different position. The hour passed and my doctor returned. I hadn't progressed at all. She said it was time to go to the OR. I remember wondering then why it was so urgent. I was fine and the baby was doing great. I asked her what could happen if I decided to keep laboring. She told me that the baby could get stuck in the birth canal and she would either have to break my pelvis or the baby's shoulder in order for him to be born. Obviously, I was scared out of my mind at what she said so I agreed. I asked everyone to leave the room and my husband and I made the decision together. I was very upset.

I'll never forget being wheeled back to the OR by myself. I remember looking up at the lights in the hallway and the chill of the OR as we entered. This was the most scared I had ever been in my life and I kept asking the nurse when Daddy B would come in. I was almost having a panic attack. Daddy B came in, they started the operation at 7pm and at 7:07pm, Baby C was born weighing 8lbs 9oz and was 21.5 inches long. They didn't hold him above the sheet and I was really disappointed. The first time I saw him was when Daddy B brought him over all bundled up. After 20 minutes, they took him to the nursery and I was left with another 45 minutes of them putting me back together. I then went to recovery and went through the most painful process of them trying to get my uterus to contract. By the time I got to my post-partum room, it was 11pm and I finally got to hold my baby.

I'm crying as I type this. I know I still have so much healing to do emotionally. Daddy B and I are going to try for #2 starting around Baby C's 2nd birthday. I am working hard to prepare myself both physically and mentally for a healthy birth and delivery. My hope with our next child is to not be induced, not have any pain medication and deliver a beautiful baby vaginally who will be placed immediately on my chest and we can start trying to nurse.

I know I can end up in another c-section. Baby C was a big boy for 38.5 weeks. But I feel if I don't do everything in my power to try and achieve a different outcome, I will never forgive myself. I think if I have done everything I can and I still end up in a c-section, I will be able to cope with the experience and know that this was simply God's plan for myself and my baby.