3 Months Old

No, I haven't forgotten about this little ol' blog, if you're still reading.  Life is just busy with two kids and I've made a promise to myself to spend less time in the internet world and more time enjoying the present.  I read this blog post about "How to Miss a Childhood" and it has really impacted me.  I don't want to get so caught up in technology that I miss out on what life really is.  Everyone is asleep in my house, so I have some free time now.

So things never aligned for me to make it back to Texas for my postpartum visit.  I've been feeling fine and I talked with Dr. C's nurse, so I wasn't too concerned.  I started to have a little postpartum depression and I needed to decide what I was going to do for birth control, so I made an appointment with a local OBGYN that I've heard great things about when it comes to him supporting natural childbirth.  I had heard in the past that he had done some VBACs, but was told he "didn't like to get involved" when I called to ask for a consult.  The appointment went well and some great news is that if we decide we want to have one more child, he is totally supportive of me having a 2VBAC with him.  He says now I have a "proven pelvis" and he has no problem with me going to 42 weeks before talking induction.  I liked him overall.  He's no Dr. C, but I learned from my delivery of Baby B that the doctor doesn't matter as much as my mind set going in to delivery.  I'm not saying baby #3 is going to happen, but Daddy B and I want to keep our options open.  If it is going to happen, it won't be for quite a while, so don't get your hopes up!  

Baby B is 3 months old now!  He is the sweetest baby boy.  I could melt at the smiles he gives me when I go to get him up from naps or bed in the morning.  He's sleeping well, still swaddled, and does about 2, 6 hour sleep chunks a night.  We are on a great schedule that is flexible and he's taking 3 naps a day.  At 10 weeks he was 13lbs 12oz and 25" long.  He is rolling from belly to back and can hold his head up like a champ!  We love doing the kangaroo carry in my ring sling.

I'm still pumping!!  I'm proud of myself!  :)  I don't make much milk and this week it has dropped lower, but this next week is "Operation Increase Milk Supply."  I've deemed it so in my head haha.  Lots of steel cut oats, fenugreek and water.  I'm not ready to give up.  I have a goal to make it 6 months and take it from there.  It's very time consuming because I pump in 30 minute sessions, but I know I'll feel that dang mommy-guilt if I just quit.  

I'm still working on my big announcement.  The last step was completed today and I'm excited to share it with you!

I have lots of ideas of posts I want to do in regards to VBAC, c-sections, and inductions in our country, but I know work will need to go in to them.  I'm not sure how many people keep up with this blog, so with 13 followers, I don't know if I want to take the time away from my family to organize the posts and do the research to back up my statements. 

Here's some more pictures of my beautiful boys!

Loving the bumbo

Big smiles from my little dude

Brother play time :)

Baby C enjoying being part of the 3 year old class at VBS

2 Months

I can't believe my sweet VBAC baby is already 2 months old!  I have enjoyed the newborn phase as much as I can, but I have to be honest, I am so excited for the baby phase!  Baby B has been blossoming lately with his smiles, head control and hand discovery.

On the breastfeeding front...
First of all, breastfeeding is HARD.  I know for some it comes easy, but I am definitely not one of those women.  After about 3.5 weeks, we started having to supplement because Baby B was just not having enough wet diapers a day or gaining enough weight.  Baby B did great switching between a bottle and nursing at first.  I kept nursing during the day before offering the bottle of pumped milk/formula and over the course of another 3 weeks or so, Baby B started preferring the bottle.  I was okay with it because I think I fall in to that small percentage of women who simply don't make enough milk.  I am proudly still pumping and make about 4 oz a day with pumping every 3-4 hours.  Every drop of breast milk counts and I'm happy that I'm giving Baby B as much as my body can make!  (Yes, I've done the fenugreek, tea, etc. and it hasn't helped much.  The most I've gotten is about 5.5 oz in one day.)  I'm thankful to the LA Breastfeeding Coalition women for helping me make sure I had a good latch and supporting my decision to pump!  I love the support I've found here in Central Louisiana :)

I think something that was reiterated to me again, just as with my VBAC, is that birth and mothering isn't black and white.  I think it's easy to get caught up in what your ideal is and what you're "supposed" to do, but sometimes that just isn't what works for you and your family.  The best thing you can do for yourself is learn about your choices and options and make an informed decision.

I have some very exciting news (no, I'm not pregnant... thank God.  WAY too soon!).  I'll be sharing it very soon!! :)

My sweet boys!

A Cesarean and Breastfeeding

I had a plan when I was pregnant.  I would be induced, have an epidural, deliver vaginally and start breastfeeding and continue breastfeeding for at least a year.  Funny how we make "plans," right?

To say breastfeeding was hard for me is definitely an understatement.  First of all, breastfeeding is hard for anyone.  Three of the close women in my life all have really great, unique stories about breastfeeding.  I want to tell you a little bit about their experiences, since I'm sure I will be referring to them in this blog.  I'm leaving out their children's names just to be safe and respect their privacy.

Aunt K - She's my sister-in-law and one of my closest friends.  She has two kids, my nephew who is 4 1/2 and my niece who is 10 months. She was induced with both, had epidurals with both and had successful vaginal deliveries.  She had an over supply of milk with her first baby and this led to her decision to exclusively pump for 4 months, with the milk lasting for 6 months.  With her second, she had a great lactation consultant and breastfed for 6 months after overcoming the first challenging few weeks.  So proud of her!

Amiga C - My best friend since high school!  She has one child (planning on more!) and her breastfeeding story is famous!  :)  But really, it was just featured on Mama Birth!  She breastfed for over 6 months after suffering through preeclampsia, which resulted in a 36 week, induced birth with epidural (which she did not like) with her cute-as-a-button daughter.  I remember when she was pregnant she wasn't even sure if she wanted to attempt breastfeeding and has gone on to believe in it so much!  She is one of those women who has just blossomed as a mother! I am also so proud of her!

Cousin M - If you want to talk about a determined mommy, you need to look no further than my cousin M.  She had her daughter about 6 weeks after I had Baby C and had a long early labor at home before heading to the hospital and having a quick, natural birth. Her little girl showed signs quickly of food sensitivities in Cousin M's breastmilk.  I mean folks, she gave up everything to continue breastfeeding: dairy, red meat, certain veggies, all spicy food, went gluten-free, EVERYTHING.  Now this DID help Cousin M to get to a great post-pregnancy weight, but I think she would've rather been able to have a big bowl of mac n' cheese and still breastfeed!  ;)  She is my hero when it comes to breastfeeding and I'm proud to tell you at 17 months old, Mommy and baby are still going strong with nursing!

What do all of these women have in common besides successfully breastfeeding?  A vaginal birth.

I've thought a lot about how my birth with Baby C may have impacted my failure at breastfeeding.  Here's a recap:

• I breastfed in the hospital, but did not have a great lactation consultant.  She kept asking me if it hurt and I would say, "Well it's not comfortable, but I guess it doesn't hurt."  She said that was normal.  I don't think it was.
• The lactation consultant was already having me supplement with formula in a syringe while in the hosptial.  My colostrum should have been enough!
• My milk came in somewhere between 6 and 7 days after giving birth. 
• Baby C had a horrible latch and before my milk really came in, I was already bleeding.
• To attempt to heal and take a break from the VERY painful experience of trying to nurse on bleeding nipples, I pumped for a couple of days and surrendered to giving Baby C pumped milk and formula.  It was then that I noticed I was only making about an ounce on the left and less than 1/2 an ounce on the right per pumping session.  This never increased.
• I was worried about Baby C getting enough so when Aunt K suggested I do exclusive pumping like she did with her first, it sounded like a good idea. We both thought I could maybe be as successful as she was with her first.
• I lasted 6 weeks pumping.  I pumped about 7 times a day and made a maximum of 12 ounces in 24 hours.  I got 3 clogged ducts and started to develop mastitis.
• Funny side note - that pump started saying evil things to me!  In the late hours of the night I swear it would chant "Kill the bitch!"  LOL It's a running joke in the family now that the pump is possessed!  ;)
• When I went to my postpartum vist with the OB who delivered me, told her of all my struggles and showed her the clogged milk ducts, she actually told me to give up. And she was currently a breastfeeding mother!

So I did.  I gave up.  I wish that I knew then what I know now about breastfeeding and I also wish I had Aunt K, Amiga C and Cousin M's and their experiences already with me when I was attempting it with Baby C.  I can't go back though and Baby C is a healthy 19 month old now, so I can't really be too upset.  I feel like I did the best I could at the time with the knowledge I had been given.  I know better for next time.  I can't help but wonder though, did my feelings about being inadequate to the point of not being able to birth my baby the way God intended have an impact on my feelings about being able to breastfeed?  I believe they did.

On to the point of this post...

I feel like a big reason my milk supply was so low was because my body wasn't ready to have a baby (another post, for another day).  I've talked to many VBAC mamas who had a similar experience with their first, but swear it was better after giving a natural birth.  I'm looking forward to that!

Here's a great article on breastfeeding after a cesarean.